


Jokes On You

by Valentine20xx



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Naruto
Genre: Batman/Naruto Fusion, F/M, Female Haku, Good is Evil, Naruto Is The Joker, Sasuke The Emo Butt Monkey, evil is good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 00:36:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20126458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valentine20xx/pseuds/Valentine20xx
Summary: For most people, the world is all sunshine and roses.For some people, there ends up being thatOneBad Daythat brings everything into focus.BWA HA HA HA HA HA!This is a Naruto story that has him play the prankster to the hilt... but not justANYold prankster...Oh, he brings the Rogues Of Gotham to the Elemental Nations...





	1. One Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jokes On You](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/504577) by Silent Magi. 

> Another of my stories inherited from the 'fire sale' that was the end of Silent Magi's run as a fanfiction writer, It was largely conceptualised due to the fact Naruto and Batman have a lot in common. A flagrant disregard for personal safety within it’s populace, a brooding avenger, a prankster who antagonises said avenger by existing, an ice user with a tragic past, someone with a barely diagnosed case of multiple personality disorder...  
OK, Let’s be honest. It’s easier to just list the Batman characters who don’t have an acceptable parallel within the Naruto universe, We did try, and eventually decided basically the Gotham Police Department. (ANBU are much much less competent)  
The rogues… There’s no issues there. Except when you get to the really obscure ones, so Jokes On You happened, and will happen again. Also, I wish to point out that none of the things that happen to Naruto are implausible, and rely on the fact that Sarutobi is overworked and near-retirement, with one thing being told to Sarutobi, and another being told to Naruto. For example, with a delivery system, who is to say that the bag even got shipped out?

_Sometimes, Life doesn’t go your way, sometimes it does. The key to surviving and remaining SANE is often to just keep from focusing on the BAD days, and instead to keep thinking about the GOOD times. Or, as they say, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Of course, with some people, they have that one day, that ONE BAD DAY, which they will never forget… and, with time, NO-ONE else will forget it either. For them, when life gives them LEMONS, they earn that Chemistry degree… My old alma mater really appreciated my PRACTICAL display of my knowledge of home-made bombs. It was a BLAST! _ _\- Doctor Harleen Quinzel, The Joker (In His Own Words)_

It was a little known fact that, within Konohagakure, on a supposedly random day at least once a month, to the point deployment of ANBU could not monitor or control it, there was an informal ‘event’, with no schedule or plan to it, despite being prepared in advance, where nothing went right for Naruto Uzumaki. All Naruto knew was that it always began when he went shopping, handing in his food vouchers, so he could pick up rice, eggs, bacon and other things that he needed for a healthy diet… only for most of it, if not all, to be lost due to an accident.  
Sometimes, as the assistant was carrying it to the racks for delivery, the bags inexplicably broke or the delivery address was incorrectly recorded. Once or twice, there had been a printing error on his vouchers meaning he couldn’t even pay for it. Or even, once or twice, accidentally one or two of the bags ended up getting mixed up with almost identical bags that held rotten food. Either way, he ended up, nine times out of ten, going to a local shop and picking up several sachets of red bean soup and some instant ramen packs. They didn’t spoil half as often.  
He didn’t really notice that only he still used the voucher book system, ostensibly because he was not in a paying job, and most of the orphans were in the orphanage, and anyone else had parents, but the issuing office could easily sneak spelling mistakes or incorrectly printed symbols onto the vouchers, or that they could charge whatever they liked to the money put aside for paying for Naruto’s groceries, as long as it almost matched the value of the koku, which was the average price of groceries within the Fire Nation for a particular period.  
Added to that was the fact they were practising fire jutsu drills in the classes, and Sasuke’s sparring always involved overly flashy techniques that set fire to his outfit and invariably also destroyed some of his equipment. Which was even more expensive for him. So, as he used some of the little amount of non-ramen groceries he had which had managed to get to his house to at least make something good out of the day, he slumped on his couch, hearing the boards fail before it began collapsing, thankful the table hadn’t collapsed as well.  
Going for his duct tape, he sighed. Repair costs were added to his rent, so he’d had to tape up, patch up and generally pretend his furniture wasn’t getting worn out. And Naruto was sure the landlord was scamming him about how much the rent was in the first place. Naruto then frowned as he noticed a battered looking tankobon that had been stuffed into the bottom of the couch by a previous owner. Admittedly, He was not surprised, since even the ‘good’ furniture had signs of falling off the back of the trade convoy, and that was when he originally got it.  
The cover was dominated by a single romanized word, ‘JOKER’ and had, beneath, the text ‘The Joker Pranks Back!’, and something about it being translated from the DC Comics imprint. On the inside cover, he read a simple message telling him to start from the back, since the comic was written in reverse, with the panels left to right. Flicking the book over, and opening it to the front page, he read out the text to himself, ‘_A Rogue’s Guide To Gotham (As Told By The Joker)...’  
_The image below was a man with green hair and a huge smile on his pale face, as well as some kind of purple suit that was completely inappropriate for any kind of stealth of subtlety, sat in the middle of what seemed to be piles and piles of high-denomination ryo notes, seemingly enjoying himself with a girl in a red and black outfit that he felt _was_ much more suitable for stealth. There was no other reason he was intrigued by her look. Even if she made Sakura look like a flat-chested boy in comparison.  
“Nice girl, limitless ryo… Guy must be doing something right...” Naruto mused, turning the page to see the man stood seemingly in a spotlight, his smile more forced, as if he was talking straight to Naruto.  
“_Right, Before we begin, I bet you got suckered by that picture of one of my better times… The sexy girl, well, she was my psychiatrist… She was hot for me, then she was crazy for me, then she had this crazy idea to turn bisexual and dumped me for a naturalist…_ _Oh yes, and the several billion in cash?… Some BAT got at me about how much I withdrew from the local bank… Lost, well...”_ He stated, as the next panel showed a table with a much smaller, but still impressive stack of notes, as the man stated, his hand half-covering his mouth, “_Most of it. And this is after paying off the lawyer… And they call ME a criminal!”_  
The manga was a Who’s Who of an eclectic group of people who all stayed at a place named Arkham Asylum, who worked alongside this ‘Joker’, with each of them seemingly being fairly successful, and would have been more successful if it wasn’t for a group working for a killjoy named, for some reason, ‘Batman’. Naruto mused about how this ‘Joker’ was able to have so much fun, and be so successful in his pranking, and got a good idea how he looked and acted, before calling out ‘HENGE’…  
The next moment, he let out a laugh that made the windows rattle. Oh yes, He was going to paint the town… Now, where did he leave that paint? This was going to be fun! Meanwhile, within his mindscape, A white-haired woman smiled about the fact he’d found the comic book, while also glancing through a much larger collection, discreetly helping his henge take on a personality all of it’s own. She didn’t like influencing people, but this was for a good cause…  
What kind of kitsune would Naruto be if he couldn’t prank properly?!?

The following morning, Hinata woke up, going into her closet, blinking, and checking several security seals and finding them untouched. However, when she looked again in her closet, she found most of her normal outfit, but her jacket, her one lifeline, was completely missing. Instead of her jacket, slowly turning on a turntable placed under a stasis seal, was...  
After polishing off one of the cinnamon rolls, she looked round for the jacket, eventually deciding that she’d have to deal with the problem when she got back from the Academy, sealing the box of cinnamon-flavoured decadence into one of her equipment scrolls. No sense to waste good food. When she entered, she avoided Naruto, who was needling the Uchiha heir about his endless desire for revenge, taking her usual seat. A paradigm shift occurred in the world at that moment as a loud fart noise caused everyone to look in her direction, causing the worst blush ever. You could have heard a pin drop.  
“Naruto is the only person who does pranks, and he’s never even done a minor one against Hinata until today.” She overheard Shikamaru mutter, “Plus she’s not wearing her jacket. Something is going on...”  
Hinata steeled herself, avoiding the inevitable tears and tantrum. When class ended, she’d find out why Naruto did that, and her father would...  
“Oy, Hina-hime, How long were you hoping to hide such a lovely figure? I’d almost think you didn’t want to be noticed...” Naruto’s voice stated in a quiet tone, her plans to punish Naruto for his prank evaporating as she realised what he’d called her, before he declared to Sakura, “Oy, Washboard, Look at what a proper girl looks like! Well, Does she need to hit me to prove a point? She didn’t even hit me for the prank seal… She actually has a sense of humour, unlike you, who only seems to find something funny if Sasuke tells you it’s funny!”  
Everyone could hear the loud sound of teeth grinding, Sakura getting up, ready to turn Naruto into a pretzel. She wasn’t just slightly angry, she was furious. Both Hinata and Shikamaru guessed that the prank hadn’t been the fart seal, Hinata mentally adding that she’d figure out if Naruto also made her jacket turn into…  
No, Bad Hinata, stop thinking about the pastries. Still, Instead, it was set up to roast Sakura over open coals in a hugely public setting. She could see that Iruka was holding back the class from beginning. This was one ‘prank’ that he’d not stop.  
“I’ll tell you what. You and Hinata, sparring match, Been saving these for a rainy day. Winner gets a date with me...” Naruto stated, as he took out a reservation for one of the upmarket restaurants, Iruka frowning, but accepting the offered wager, Hinata’s eyes narrowing. She knew exactly what to do, and she discreetly began the early steps of activating her Byakugan as she stepped into place. She had a really good reason to finish this fight in victory.  
“You are in range of my divination...” Hinata stated coldly as soon as he declared ‘Ippon!’, and less than a minute later, Sakura was being taken out on a stretcher, completely paralysed, having not even had time to throw a single punch. She might have been furious, but Hinata had been determined, as she headed to collect her prize. Oh yes, and sneak a cinnamon roll while the class got into order.  
“Wasn’t Sakura the top kunoichi in class?!?” Hinata heard as the adrenaline wore off, and she realized Naruto had completely turned what everyone assumed had been his first prank on her… into an epic-level prank on Sakura, as well as, in his own way, beginning his courtship of her.  
“Prove them wrong. Prove that _You_ are the top kunoichi in class...” Naruto whispered as they finalised the date, giving her the task of beginning the next step of the prank. And, strangely, Hinata was ready to do just that. And she wanted to do it this time.

A few days later, Sarutobi looked at the reports from Iruka, Hiashi sat in with them.  
“She did the truncated training form of the Eight Trigrams Sixty Four Palms from COLD?” Hiashi stated, shocked, “And all because Naruto wagered a date with him?”  
“He seemingly did a prank on her, but he was actually using her as a ringer for an even bigger prank...” Iruka stated, “I don’t know how he arranged it, but, well, she was a middling to poor kunoichi before that day. Since? She’s got the best grades in the entire class. Naruto somehow arranged for her to deliberately be the most effective kunoichi going, effectively pranking the supposed top kunoichi in her class!”  
“How so?” Hiashi asked, knowing that he couldn’t have possibly arranged something that audacious. Hinata had always been shy, pulling her strikes and never sparring properly.  
“Even we’re not sure how, but she completely faked to everyone how good she really is,” Iruka stated, Hiashi looking thoughtful as he confirmed she was now sparring as a Hyuga should.  
“I will admit that she has an odd habit of hanging round Naruto…” Hiashi mused, genuinely surprised at what seemed to be one of the most audacious pranks ever by Naruto… To make his oldest daughter play the fool until the perfect time to embarrass EVERYONE, even her own family. Later that evening, he tried to stop her snacking, only to end up on his back on the floor. Yes, this was not the same Hinata, and those were definitely Hyuga techniques.

Meanwhile, Hinata was on cloud nine. Naruto gave her discreet, but real, praise every time she excelled, and she was loving it. Her jacket never turned up, and she was earning jealous looks from the other kunoichi, as well as suggestions she dump Naruto, the ‘dead last’.  
“So, You want me, the greatest kunoichi in my class, to be like Sakura, whose only skill is that she can memorize the books from rote...” She’d offered, slightly louder than she needed to, “I think I already know what I would get out of being his fangirl, ‘Hinata, just stand back and let a real fighter take on the bad ninja’. Just ask Sakura. Naruto, He knows I can knock a ninja out in a minute flat. When we fight, _we_ fight. When you follow Naruto, you get praise and encouragement. When you follow Sasuke, You _follow_ Sasuke...”  
The even more fun thing about that was that Sasuke couldn’t deny it, and actually did the exact opposite, saying that the kunoichi were beneath him, and unintentionally gave the statement a double-meaning. That they’d be a route to expanding his clan, not a combat partner. She was finding it FUN to poke Sakura’s buttons, to beat her down and then cheerfully move to Naruto’s side. What shocked her most was what she found herself doing after the most recent one, as her face moved to beside his cheek and she kissed him. Yes, she decided, That was how you finished a proper humiliation…  
She wasn’t to notice that Naruto froze, stunned, as a voice in the back of his head cackled about the nature of dominoes. He’d only planned to flirt a bit with Hinata to push Sakura’s buttons, get her riled up, due to Hinata being the class wallflower. Instead, he’d found his ‘Harley’. Making her jacket disappear had shown him her knockout figure, she was playing off him so so well, and she was really silk hiding a core of steel. Now, he just needed to work on slipping her a costume...


	2. Comedy Night At The Hyuuga Compound

_A good lesson to go by… If there’s some girl who seems to hide from you all the time… Find out why. Remember the psychiatrist? The cute blond one who dresses like a jester? She was always keeping our sessions short, and they got shorter and shorter… Well, that was until I abruptly decided to leave dear Arkham without permission, well, from the Warden anyway. Harley let me out, we both left, and we’ve only occasionally gone back. Unfortunately, they refused to give her a job. They seemed to think she was crazy to be in love with me. Ah, Stockholm, gotta love 'im._

\- R. U. Joking, A Guide To Being A Great Prankster

It had been three long and productive months since Naruto had found the nearly destroyed manga in his couch cushions. Since that day, the Joker had begun to make a name for himself. At first he had started with small, harmless pranks, but as the months went by he grew bolder, and more daring, knowing that even the mighty ANBU were powerless to stop him. He had even started leaving his calling card of his face drawn in the center with the words 'The Joker' on them so that they knew who to blame.

And every morning he would hear the gossiping villagers talking about the new menace in town, and even how they had even forgotten all about him. Well, at least he'd learned that when they said 'demon brat' in that tone they were talking about him at least. Even if it was somewhat depressing to think that they _did_ refer to him as such behind his back. Which was why they were at the top of the supposedly random lottery for who got the less harmless pranks. Of course, he never did anything remotely lethal… to civillians anyway.

The manga had even pointed him to an ancient book in the library by R. U. Joking. The librarian took one look at the musty old tome and told him he could have it for five ryo. The money had been pressed into the librarian's hand and he had the book out the door before even a minute had passed. From what he had read, it was hundreds of prank ideas from the real live Joker himself, over a million years ago! And it was just sitting there, waiting for some lucky reader to find it.

Perking up his ears, he heard them talking about the Joker's latest prank. He had left Sasuke Uchiha bound and gagged naked at the door of an Akamichi fangirl that happened to have a birthday last night. He even attached a lovely note in which Sasuke professed his undying love to said large girth girl, and that he was going to be her present forever more. Rumor was that the ANBU and her parents had to promise her triple desserts for a month to release the genius, and even then it was not before he had been molested by her. It might have been less obvious if he hadn't used one of his cards to leave the note. But when one is a master forger, well...

Let's just say some people didn't check things as well as they should. Further, they were still talking about how he had gotten all of the Inuzuka dogs running rampant through the streets of Konoha after a horde of cats had passed through their kennels, and of the time he managed to glue all of the ANBU to the ceiling and walls, after removing their floors the night before. He had walked right into ANBU headquarters, slammed his card down on the first desk he came to, and began laughing like a madman.

The chase from that point was short lived as he easily outdistanced all of the stuck ANBU with ease. A lot of them were even laughing with him after he'd dosed them with this laughing gas he had gotten the recipe for out of the manga, with careful advice on the dosage. Apparently that _was_ lethal in large doses. But for now, Naruto had to hurry along to the academy, where he snatched up a seat in the back-most corner of the back row of the room, carefully chosen away in a closed off corner, so that the teacher Iruka wouldn't have any reason to move him.

And he began studying what appeared to be a basic ninjutsu scroll, but was in fact notes he had taken carefully on what King-san had talked about in the book. With his henge down pat, even the most skilled ninja had trouble seeing through it, which was odd since he'd read that the henge was supposed to be easy to see through. He'd also read that it wasn't supposed to be an actual physical change, but the fact he did it just meant that he was that much more of an awesome ninja and prankster, didn't it?

He didn't know it, but today wasn't going to be his usual routine. In fact, tonight's prank was going to change a lot of things in Konoha.

Out of the entire population of Konoha, there was one person that suspected Naruto of being the Joker, after all he'd only been seen elsewhere in Konoha a few of the times. And many of the pranks were done on people who had been especially mean to Naruto-kun the day before. She knew this because for many years now she had been performing observational reconnaissance training by stal... _following_ the object of her deepest crush throughout his day. She’d had a crush on him ever since he’d stopped some bullies when she was too young to do so herself.

She had moved when he did from the front row of the class to the back row with him, but she always left a few chairs between them, mostly for her nerves. Any closer and she'd start blushing, and subtly using her Byakugan from behind a scroll to peek at Naruto. Her father wouldn’t approve. But he also had a list of other things he didn’t approve of, and Naruto seemed to be involved in most of them...

So she just ignored him. A week ago, she had been leaving the main house, when she saw him: The Joker, in all his manic glory. He had been holding something that looked like a rope, which ran back to the main house. He saw her and smiled widely at her with that same completely unhinged smile Naruto had worn in his darkest days. He had waved her over, signalling her to be quiet at the same time. He'd held out the rope, and explained that it would release several dozen stink-bombs throughout the entire main house, with his card carried along the gaseous pressure wave.

Mixed in for good measure were canisters of his new laughing gas, diluted to relatively safe levels. He wanted to know if she'd like to pull the prank for him. Biting her lower lip, she had taken the rope and looked at the main house, thinking about how she had been belittled and made fun of her entire life. In a moment of clarity she gave the rope a firm yank and started running with the Joker, even joining in his laughter. After they had gotten somewhere secluded, the Joker held out one of his cards.

"Something to remember me by babe," was all he said before taking off. The card was different than any other she'd seen before. On one side was the standard Joker emblem, but on the flip side was a faded picture of two people. One was the Joker, but with him was this woman that had on a red and black spandex uniform and a white face with a black mask over her eyes. A little browsing on Ninjapedia, had turned up an interesting find. Apparently there once was a type of jesters named 'harlequins' that dressed in such a fashion, and there were ancient languages from before the Elemental Nations that were very close to that title.

She even found that, using those same archaic languages, 'Harley' and 'Quinn' were apparently both female names, and both able to be used as a family name. On that day she had decided that if Hinata Hyuuga couldn't approach Naruto Uzumaki, then maybe it was time for Harley Quinn to approach The Joker. Smiling quietly, she began drawing up the designs for the outfit behind her scrolls, never noticing a pair of shaded eyes next to her watching what she was drawing.

A figure was sat, where the wall between the windows cast a shadow over him, so that he could brood properly. After all, proper lighting was important in the brooding process. Sasuke glared at the chalkboard twenty-two point five-nine-seven-three-two-five feet in front of him, and brooded on the man that had replaced his brother at the first he had to kill in revenge list. The Joker. That vile, conniving, and twisted bastard had dumped in at one of his biggest (physically number 1, enthusiastically number 10, emotionally damaging number 4) fangirls, with a note saying that HE, Sasuke Uchiha, was to be her gift for her birthday.

And to make it worse he had forged his penmanship to do it. He knew that the shinobi forces of Konoha had failed to capture the deranged maniac, so maybe it was time to take matters into his own hands. But how? How did one fight a man that drove him absolutely crazy?

As the top two annoying fangirls began shrieking in his ear about sitting next to him, his eye began twitching. He knew he'd have to add a mask to keep the unholy legions of girls that wanted to do unspeakable things to his body away. And probably pick some intimidating thing to base his disguise off of, so that they wouldn't try and come after him to find out who he really was.

A snake? No, too much phallic representation there, and he was pretty sure there was still a snake summoner in Konoha, plus one of the major nuke-nin for Konoha _already_ used that motif heavily...

Most other animals were taken by the ANBU and he didn't want to be brought in for impersonating them. What was left?

"And then this bat flew out of the tree and right at me!" the pink haired fangirl idiot said to the blonde mind jutsu fangirl idiot, "I was so freaked out I screamed and ran back in the house!"

"I can imagine," the blonde one responded with a shiver, "Bats just creep me out!"

And thus Sasuke got an idea, a wonderful, awful idea. A bat... there were no bat ANBU, and if he did the sewing himself, he could have a costume ready as early as next week. And then in a week, Batman would strike terror into that clown's heart, and he'd be the one laughing then. Oh yes, he let out a victorious smirk, ignoring the fangirl squeals it produced in favor of the ringing in his ears from said shriek. Maybe he could find a way to turn this into a weapon.

This was a day the population of Konoha was going to learn to dread, should they ever figure out what had been born that day in an innocent looking classroom at the ninja academy, where young children came to learn to kill people. Anyone with the least grip on psychology might have seen this coming a mile away, but since no one did in the entire Elemental Nations, it wouldn’t be until it was too late...


End file.
